


Lightning Striker

by americanphancakes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Gen, Honestly this fic could go either way, Manscaping, They might be romantically paired, They might just be friends who are super comfy around each other, This is just very silly, crack-esque if you will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 02:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15986000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanphancakes/pseuds/americanphancakes
Summary: Phil has discovered pubic hair trimming templates. Dan is disturbed.





	Lightning Striker

**Author's Note:**

> I figured a bunch of us fic writers needed something happy & stupid tonight. Enjoy this silly adorable bit of grown-up fluff!
> 
> P.E.N.I.S night WHATEVER I don't remember where I am cuz I'm so behind lol

As Dan was sunk comfortably into the sofa scrolling through tumblr, he heard the whirring of Phil's electric trimmer from the bathroom.

_Odd time of day for Phil to be shaving,_ he thought.

The whirring stopped after a few minutes and Phil ran into the lounge excitedly.

“Dan Dan Dan Dandandandandandaaaan!!”

“What?”

Phil pulled down the waist of his pyjama pants just enough that Dan could see exposed pubic hair.

“Jesus Christ, Phil!” he cried, averting his eyes.

“No Dan, look! It's a lightning bolt!”

Dan glared at Phil’s eyes before begrudgingly lowering his gaze to Phil’s crotch.

“Yes. Yes, that is indeed a lightning bolt.”

“It’s so cool! It’s like Harry Potter, only down there,” Phil said excitedly, trying to look down at his handiwork (which was difficult to do).

Dan took a breath to prevent outward laughter. He didn’t want to encourage this behavior. He closed his eyes, shook his head, and looked back at his laptop screen.

“I did it with a stencil!” Phil said, unable to shut up about this new exciting thing. “Well it’s not like a stencil, I guess it’s a template? It’s like the inside part of a stencil you punch out. In fact that’s exactly what it was. I got others too, like there’s a heart and a banana and a star and one that i’m not sure if it’s a pineapple or a squid. Or maybe a strawberry. Anyway! I just trimmed it down, put the little tagboard lightning bolt over the hair, and then cut aro--”

“Phil.” Dan looked back at Phil again. “I don’t care.” He let his eyes flicker back down to the area above Phil’s pyjama pants waist. “That is admittedly a work of art, honestly, I’m super proud of you, but I’m also horribly disturbed. This whole conversation is harrowing. Please stop.”

“You’re no fun,” Phil said with a pout. “I should start a porn blog and post photos of this. I bet it would get a  _ lot _ of notes.”

“Jesus Christ Phil, no, settle the fuck down!”

Phil stomped off to his room indignantly.

Meanwhile, Dan was sat on the sofa left to his own thoughts. He thought about what shape he’d put in his own pubic hair. Phil mentioned there was a heart… He listened for a moment to see if Phil was anywhere near the bathroom.

The coast appeared to be clear, so Dan put his laptop down and decided to investigate the possibilities.

He went through the pile of templates on the bathroom counter. There was indeed a heart and a few fruit shapes, but also a crescent moon, a large X shape that looked hard to maneuver around, and a basic guitar-pick-esque rounded triangle, probably for basic pube cleanup purposes.

For some reason, the template that spoke to him most was one that would create three simple stripes. It was vaporwavey somehow. It had to be done carefully, requiring tape to keep the stripes in place,  _ but, _ he figured,  _ worth it. _

He trimmed the hair down to a short length first, and then applied the stripe templates with some tape from their first aid kit. Shaving around the stripes took awhile, but when it was done it looked very tidy and very professional. He admired himself in the mirror for a moment, allowing himself to get distracted by his own sexiness.

“I knew you’d give in,” Phil’s voice said.

“Aah!” Dan cried, nearly knocking things over due to the frightened flailing of his arms. “Jesus fffffff I hate you, Phil. I really fucking hate you.”

Phil was leaning against the door frame, confidently crossing his arms and smirking. “You know, the trimmed hair makes your cock look bigger.”

Dan paused, straightening out his posture. “Yeah?” He looked in the mirror to confirm.

“Yeah. Now sweep your pubes of the floor, you slob!” Phil said, heading off to bed laughing.


End file.
